Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
