I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
