Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
