There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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