I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry about my life...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
