He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
