I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
