All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
