I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
