don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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