Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize