you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I showed him my bush... on skype.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
