No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
