I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
