Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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