i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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