I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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