Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
