even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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