Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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