i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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