so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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