Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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