So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This is my gift to your gina
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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