hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
