I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
