Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize