I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
