There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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