So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
