Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
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She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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