once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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