so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He felt like a one man threesome
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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