the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
