id be glad to
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
