I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Randomize
