dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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