...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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