pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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