I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
