talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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