I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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