"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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