i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
