Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
