At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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