she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What drink are we having for lunch?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
