Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
