Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have fence marks all over my body
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
