So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
