My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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