Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
