go do what you do best...puke behind churches
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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