so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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