Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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