we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
