is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
