I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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