He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
