Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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