Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
